Damn AC

Hey guys! I know its been a couple days since my last post but in all honesty I just did not have much to say. Tonight I feel the need to write. Long story short my electric bill is $335. I have a 1200SQF house and I keep it at 72 all day and night. There is absolutely NO reason to have a bill that incredibly high. My landlord told me that the electric in the summer runs about 130ish. We had some ac issues and he “fixed” them. The main issue is that the unit is not big enough to properly cool the house so it runs all day long in order to keep trying to cool the entire house. I’m at my wits end and this is it. He has two options 1. He takes off money from my rent 2. He breaks my lease. Plain and simple in my opinion. I’m so pissed that he is such a tight ass that he wont replace a 13 year old unit that does not even meet current regulations. He is a tight wad that owns 51 rental properties and is working a six figure job. So I seriously doubt he has any financial issues. I’m so frustrated with the entire situation. I feel like every landlord I have had screwed me over. I just want to chock the dog shit out of him. I’m not asking for anything unreasonable I’m just asking to have proper working ac so I don’t have to pay a 350 bill every month. Hell that’s half my rent. Any who on a better note. I won a trip to the Bahamas!! Oh yes I said it the effin BAHAMAS!!! 4 days 3 nights in the beautiful Bahamas. All food and entertainment is included and hotel and cruise. I’m so excited I never won anything before. Now if only I could enter to win a new air conditioner than I would be in hog heaven. Okay well I think I’m done ranting and I’m sooo very tired. Think ill be back tomorrow. Night yall!!

Struggling

Ever had one of those days where your not sure if your going up or down? Today is one of those days. I’m so confused and I am struggling to make the right decision. I grew up with my mother home the majority of the time. She was the one teaching me, the one that was always there. My dad was the one working and bringing home the bacon per say. My mother worked when we were in school but always managed to be home and raise my sister and I. I always knew I wanted to be a stay at home mom at least until my kids were in school but now that I’m here I’m not too sure what I want to do. I am fortunate enough to be able to stay home while my husband works. Sure we are not rich but we are surviving. We can pay our bills and feed our faces probabluy more than we should but I know if I worked we would have a lot more wiggle room to do whatever we wanted and be able to take more vacations and do more things. I feel obligated to be the main caretaker of my daughter but I feel obligated to also contribute financially to my family. I mean hell I went to college for 4 years to be able to make a good living and I’m not taking advantage of it. I’m so torn between these things. What is going to happen when my daughter asks why I worked rather than spend time with her? Or is she even going to ask that? I have a need to be home with my daughter everyday. I cant imagine someone else doing everything I do for her. Its not a matter of what’s more important because if that was the case this would be an easy decision. My daughter is the most important thing in my life right now and my first and only priority is raising her to the best of my ability. I have watched her take her first steps, speak her first word, heard her first laugh. These are things I need to be here for. The reality of the situation is that my paycheck would be to pay a car payment and pay for her daycare. Odds are I would not contribute much to the over all income. So why even do it? Ahhhh!!! Why am I letting this bother me so much? I sometimes think that I’m not doing enough in my husbands eyes. That because I don’t bring home an income that I’m working less than him. Makes my feel kind of shitty. I know that’s not how he really feels but by not telling me I’m wrong I can only assume that I’m right. I want to do what’s best for my family and in my eyes raising my daughter is what’s right for now. It might change as the situation changes but for now this is what feels right.

My little girl

Hey guys! Well sorry I have not wrote in a couple days. I have been super tired and frankly a little lazy ha-ha. I’m not sure what to write about there has not been much going on. Same ol shit different day. So for people that don’t know I am going to share the day that my most precious gift was born. Pregnancy sucked for me. Morning sickness became all day sickness that lasted from my seventh week all the way to my eighth month. I could smell an empty trash can from the other end of the house. I am normally a weak stomach kind of person but pregnancy put me over the edge. I tried everything from natural medicines all the way to wearing motion sickness bracelets. I was miserable my entire pregnancy. I had no cravings or weird food combos, I was lucky to keep my food down on a daily bases. My OB ended up putting me an nausea medicine that managed the constant vomiting and nausea. Around my 36^th week I started to notice decreased fetal movement and chalked it up to being nervous and overly paranoid. It kept on and there were times that she would not move for hours. I finally talked to my OB and she started monitoring me twice a week. Between my 38-39 week I started having to make trips to labor and delivery for the same problem. They had no idea what was going on, the ultrasound looked completely normal. I went to my OB on May 24^th which was a day before my due date. They kept me on the monitor for over an hour and once again she was not as active as they would of liked. My midwife said that it was a must to get me to the hospital and go ahead and induce me. She told me not to even go home just straight to labor and delivery. It completely freaked me out. I had no idea what was happening and I felt so unprepared for anything that was about to happen. I went straight over to the hospital and checked into labor and delivery. It was finally time to have my beautiful baby girl. They started that night using a medicine to thin out the cervix. They gave me a sleeping pill and said that they would start the potassium at 7am the next morning to help start the contractions. Seven am rolled around faster than I thought I managed to get minimal sleep despite the sleeping pill. They connected the iv and started the medicine. A couple hours later my contractions were strong and consistent. Holy mother of God!! I never in a million years knew what kind of pain this was. I would rather be punched in the face with a hammer. Back labor was horrible I honestly thought the pain would never let up. At 3cm they came to give me the epidural. It took the Dr 10 pokes and over an hour to get the epidural set and working. I was great full to have it in and working. Before I knew it, it was time to push. I pushed three sets of three and she was out. I was in labor for 6 hours and 56 min and at 216pm my beautiful daughter was born. She went straight to the neonatal nurses mainly because of the macconium and decreased activity. She was a happy healthy 8lb 12oz baby. As the midwife is finishing me up she notices a true knot in the umbilical cord. Yes a knot, like in a rope. The decreased activity was due to the restriction on the cord. Every time that she moved she would pull the knot restricting blood flow and oxygen to her. My midwife looked at me and said that I was lucky to have given birth to a baby that was alive. She said most babies with these kinds of knots die in the womb. I was in shock. My midwife saved my little girls life. One more day could have been devastating. I am beyond blessed for the birth of my baby girl. Now she is a vibrant 13 month old that constantly keeps me on my toes. She is my sanity.

Jacksonville Adventures

Well I think I have learned my first blogger 101 lesson…proof read everything you write lol. That’s what I get for doing it at almost midnight after taking my sleeping pill haha. Sorry guys I promise to try and do better. So we went to the Jacksonville Zoo today and holy moly it was HOT! I mean sweat in places you would never imagine and to top the heat I think they were raising mosquitoes as a zoo exhibit. Between the five of us we could easily spread The West Nile virus to all 7 continents. So as I was sitting here writing this I had to double check that there were 7 continents well hell now there are 6 because apparently someone was bored and now we have “Eurasia”. Ah when things were more simple. By the time my daughter is in school I will know nothing! I’ll have to hire a tutor for myself so I can help her with 1^st grade math. Well that might be a little dramatic but you get the point. So the fam leaves tomorrow and once again it is a bitter sweet moment. I adore them so much and hate to see them leave but life has to keep moving forward and I will see them again in another couple months. Okay so I thought I would keep this to myself but what the hay. Okay picture this we are on the way to Florida to go to the zoo and we wanted to stop at the welcome center to do the cheesy Florida sign picture with the family. So I get out the car and mosey to the sign and I’m walking across the grass and one foot went straight into a camouflage hole and the other ankle went sideways as I went crashing to the ground. As I’m trying to recoup and figure out how the hell I did not see the hole my entire family is standing around me looking at me like I was stupid. I hear my sister in the back trying to catch her breath because apparently my fall was in slow motion and it was the funniest shit she has ever seen in her entire life. My husband is standing over me as I’m still on the ground and asks me “What are you doing?” Really? I’m checking the quality of the grass, WTF do you think I’m doing? So I picked myself up and looked around at the surrounding idiots, my family included, laughing, and I brushed my knees off and trucked my way to the sign. After the zoo we decided to go to Joes Crab Shack which btw is AWESOME! We ate and drank with the best of them. Well if you don’t know Joes always has a humiliating act that they make customers do on there birthdays. Well it just happened to be my dads Birthday so they made him ride a wooden stick horse. Picture this a 53 year old slightly inebriated man galloping through a resturant full of people. It was PRICELESS!!! Once we got home I sent my husband and dad out so we could get ready for the birthday festivities. We bought these confetti turbo shooter things. We have never used them and I had no idea how much power they had and how loud they were. My dad and chris walk in and we set two off right at them. Chris ducks and dad looks like he is having I mini heart attack. Oh it was sooooo funny. That was the highlight of day. Now to spend a couple hours with the fam before they take off in the am. Have a good night yall!

Friends!

I love having my family here it makes me feel complete, but this is only temporary. I’m just glad they can come down whenever they want. I love the conversation that we end up having when we are all together. I will keep all the explicit content to myself cause what can I say we can be a bunch of pervs lol. But tonight we were on the topic of friend. Sure I have 200+ face book friends but that could not be further from the actual number. Sister aside I have 3 incredible women that I feel blessed to call my friends. First is Manda Jane. Now I have known her for almost ten years now. We went to high school together. I love this chick she is as crazy as I am and we fit together perfect. She is my calm when I am her crazy and vise versa. We spent a couple years apart but reconnected shortly after. She was a complete life saver after I had my daughter was born. I called her at any hour of the night with any stupid random ass question I could think of. She made me feel like such a kick ass mom when I knew she was the true kick ass. She will be a friend I will take to the grave no matter what. Than there is Veronica. Ah the first day in a new school and I thank god I sat in front of the girl from Texas. We had an immediate connection. It was something unexplainable we never forced conversations or had awkward moments. We never argued and never really even disagreed with each other well except on that nasty ass Mola she tried to poison me with J A friendship like ours is one that comes to very few. We lost contact for a while after I moved but the moment I found her it was like we never moved, like everything in the world moved forward except us. We were exactly the same and I felt so relieved to know that nothing in the past two years had changed either of us enough to change out friendship. This woman is incredible. I knew it before but since her husband passed I have watched her overcome everything. If you seen her on the street with her beautiful daughter you would never see any signs or pain or anger. She is the strongest woman I have ever met and the kindest soul I will ever know. In moments of weakness I look to her and I hope she feels the same with me. I will always be here for her no matter what it is or what she needs I will be her “forever” friend. Last but not least there is Megan. Megan is my firecracker she is the part of me that rarely gets out. She is the description of a true friend. She has been there for me through a lot from finals to man drama. She has helped me move and clean some pretty groady shit lol. I love this girl to death. I love all the woman to death they are and forever will be my dearest friends in the world to me. Like I told my dad tonight there are not many friends that will get down and dirty for you, most will put in the least amount of effort just to say they were there. These women have done it all and I am beyond blessed to have everyone of them in my life. Friends are a dime a dozen and most use you for their benefit but guess what I don’t have friends like that I have friends like these! Okay I think I’m off my rant night yall…oh Jacksonville in the am!!! So excited!! Oh and i got my couch!! pictures of the casa to come!

yay they are here!

So my family arrived today super excited. This is the first time they have seen Chris since he has gotten home. The hubby seems excited as well as my family. I love having them all together its like Chris was made for my family. I feel very blessed that he has great relationships with my family. Him and my dad are glued together when they are around. I could not ask for anything more. Plus they rub off on each other so it makes life fun. Chris seemed to be extreamly happy to see them. It's the only people besides us that has seen him since he came back so I'm just glad they are here. But let's get real they are only here for the grandbaby, we are just a bonus. Well I don't have much to say tonight so hope everyone has a blessed fourth and please remember the ones that fought and died for our freedom.,

A better day!

Well its official i have my couch!! Well i guess i should say "our" new couch since technically it belongs to the hubby and I.  

Nice right? I was super excited about it. The price tag was almost 3 grand but with the sale and the fact that it was a discontinued model it was only 1700!! Okay enough about my couch. So the landlord managed to make it to my house at 530 this evening and come to find out the temp gauge in my daughters room was broken. The ac unit is running the "best" that it can according to the ac guy so what can you do? My landlord offered another one of his properties to me but honestly i have no energy to move my entire house again and we decided to install a portable ac unit in the back bedrooms and use it as needed. I can handle it for now and he said if the problem gets worse we can look into other options. I guess i just have to be grateful that he is willing to help and really wanting to please me. So we shall see what happens. Recently i have been thinking about getting a job. I graduated in 2009 with my bachelors in marketing and have yet to use it for a job. I think my biggest problem is I’m unwilling to settle. I don’t want to flip burgers or work crazy hours, weekends, and holidays. If i wanted to do that I would of never gone to school. I want to do part time work so i can spend time with my daughter, ideally i would love to work from home with some kind of data entry job or something of that sort. I mean why type 45wpm and not make use of it ha-ha. I have looked into working from home but I’m afraid of the scams and bogus companies that are out there. I’m the kind of person that finds things hard to believe if i don’t have visual evidence even more when money is involved. So I’m so confused and feel like i keep running into a dead end. I feel like no job is what I’m looking for 100%. Crazy right??? Guess i will just put it in Gods hands and see where it takes me. Speaking of God man i need to get my happy butt back to church. I have not been since my husband got home and in all honesty its all his fault. no I’m joking its 100% my fault. i have taken full advantage of having him home and being able to sleep in past 7am. i have managed to sleep through the last four Sundays...pathetic right? I just need to get my lazy butt out of bed and go. I need some guidance and I’m looking forward to doing the preparation to be married in the catholic church. So i recently ordered 2000+ prints from snapfish that were pictures taken all while Chris was deployed. I received them in the mail today...wtf was i thinking? Holy guacamole where am i going to put all these pictures hell where am i going to put the box that it came in. Not one of my brightest moment if i say so myself. I started sorting the 50 packs of pictures and about 3 hours into it i gave up and moved them back in the box marking each one with "Alysa's 1st Year" lol. Think i might just make it a project that i work on in small increments and let it not overwhelm me. Well i think that’s about it for my day. I’m super excited that my family will be here tomorrow i find it comforting to have all the crazy under one roof. Hope everyone has a great night :)

What a day!

So around 3pm i had a wild hair to go furniture shopping. I have been talking about buying a new couch and i knew that the holiday deals would be the perfect time to buy new living room furniture. Well low and behold every furniture store within 50 miles of me is closed on Sunday? What am I back in Germany? That popped my shopping spree bubble. So i chalked it up to a bad day and decided to go tomorrow so we shall see how it goes. Anywho this heat is ridiculous here in south Georgia. I mean its hot everywhere but hitting 103 is a little outrageous.  I recently rented a three bedroom home that was built in the 90s and is decently priced and was what I was looking for. In hindsight it was a rushed decision and  I should of waited on something better and more fitted to my needs. The air conditioner had some issues seeing as it was built 12 years ago and now does not meet current codes, it did not supervise me. Long story short it took a good two weeks for my landlord to get his things together and get it fixed. Well now it is happening again. My daughters room was 84 degrees this evening when I put her to bed. My landlord tells me that he will have the ac guy out tomorrow to see if there is anything he can do. I am completely and utterly pissed off about the whole situation. I pray that he will fix it and if he does not i have no choice but to break my lease. I cant let her sleep in an 84 degree bedroom. I feel like my hands are tied and I mean what is the likely hood of finding a house for less than 850 in a matter of days? Probably not very high. I just want what's best for my family and I hate feeling helpless. But I know at the end of the day things will always work out the way they are meant to, just have to be patient. On a lighter note my family will be down in a matter of days and I'm sooooo excited. I love having my family around more for my daughter more than anything else. My daughter absolutely loves them to pieces. When i call my mother my daughter will take the phone stick it to her ear and walk away, its so stinkin cute. Thinking we might go to the Jacksonville Zoo over the weekend. They seem to have a lot of child friendly activities and hey there are tons of things I want to do there too. Hopefully all will go well and the heat wont be too crazy. Well guys I'm hitting the sack, hope everyone has a great night!